


The Transformation of Dana Scully

by Spooky66



Category: The X files
Genre: Abduction Arc (X-Files), Angst, Cunnilingus, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e08 One Breath, Post-Movie: The X-Files: Fight the Future (1998)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-08 03:18:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21469198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky66/pseuds/Spooky66
Summary: After Scully's abduction, Mulder stops by to see how she is doing.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	1. Part 1

I try to calm my nerves as I stand at Scully’s door holding a pitiful bouquet and some of her favorite take out. It’s only her second night back at home but I’ve missed her. My own insecurities aren’t the only thing keeping me from knocking; the voice of Margret Scully floats out from behind the door and I make the decision to scratch the whole plan.  
So when the door opens I’m turning to go and it all ends up more awkward than it already was.

“Fox!” Mrs. Scully is delighted to see me and her smile widens at the flowers in my hand. I’ll never understand how this woman doesn’t hate me.

I decide that I will just hand Scully my welcome back gifts and leave but Mrs. Scully is already ushering me in as she leaves.

“I’m sorry I’m leaving right as you arrive but Dana is practically kicking me out.”

She throws a playful glare at her independent daughter and for the first time I have the courage to look at Scully who’s blushing and avoiding eye contact.  
My embarrassment is threefold and I stumble to find words but can’t get them out before Maggie makes her exit.

“Hi, Mulder.” Scully’s smile is shy. She looks soft and so young. She is wearing leggings and an oversized Navy sweatshirt that just perpetuates the image.

“Hey, sorry, I should have realized your mom would be over I just thought I’d bring you a welcome back gift.” I hold out my inadequate offerings and her blush deepens.  
“Let’s get some water.” Scully turns on her heel and heads for the kitchen not waiting for me to follow.

There is something about seeing her out of bed, seeing her moving, seeing the flush of her skin that makes my heart feel light. She’s here. She’s alive.

I can’t help the stupid grin that crosses my face as I follow behind her. When she turns around with the filled vase I’m still smiling like an idiot but she just meets it with her own wide smile.

I fit the flowers into the vase and she places them on her kitchen table.

“Thank you, Mulder, they’re lovely.” She eyes the food, “Is that for me too?”

Her smile tells me she already knows but I nod.

She turns to get plates and utensils and I begin to wonder if she wants me to stay and eat with her. I’d brought enough for two but as I consider it I decide that it was presumptuous of me.

“Well, I just wanted to welcome you home and-“

When Scully turns she is holding two of everything and her face has fallen. A disgraceful sense of joy runs up my spine, she wants me to stay.

“Oh, ok. I wasn’t sure if you were going to stay-“

“Do you want me to-“

We speak at the same time before laughing at our own awkwardness.

Rubbing my neck I take the plates from her, “I brought enough for two.”

“Good.”

She can’t drink yet but we both still seem tipsy from the excitement of her freedom. I don’t want to leave and she doesn’t ask me to, instead, we find the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers playing.

It happens so naturally that neither of us seems to notice how we’ve ended up snuggled together in the middle of the couch.

My arm around her warm body slipping down to rest on her hip as she lays her head on my chest. When she shifts her sweatshirt rides up a bit my fingers make contact with bare skin and we suddenly both become aware of our positions. She stiffens and I pull my hand off her side but she just looks up at me. Her eyes are huge and I want to dive into them. The fear of drowning in their watery blue depths keeps me frozen for a moment but the flush of her cheeks compels my hand forward to cup her cheek.

The months after her abduction make it feel unbelievable that she is truly here with me. On their own accord, my eyes move to her lips. Their perfectly imperfect cupids bow draws them there. Her mole is uncovered and I want to touch it.

“Mulder…” When I look back at her eyes they are focused on my own lips.

It’s a terrible decision. One we’ll surely regret tomorrow but god she’s so warm and I want her. The place where our legs meet burns through my jeans.

And she kisses me. It’s so soft and sweet. An unsolicited moan comes from the back of my throat and I feel her smile against my lips.

Her leg moves from its curled position against my thigh to slip between my own legs and I pull her closer.

Scully’s tongue slides into my mouth while my hand moves up her bareback, her skin like silk. I tickle my fingers along her spine and feel the goosebumps appear on her skin.  
I move my lips from her own to her cheek and then her neck. I massage her breast and grow harder along with her nipples, which beg for attention.

For a few minutes, I forget the trauma of the last few months. I was living a fantasy I’d pushed away since we’d become partners. The few times the illicit images of Scully popped into my mind during some self-pleasuring I’d berated himself and struggled to picture another face on the body I’d seen on our first case.

But now, feeling her move against me, begging for attention between her legs. It's now that I noticed the slight difference in her body. Her breasts are heavier and the time spent where ever she’d been along with her stay in the hospital had softened the definition of her muscles. The soft curves begged me to continue, to pull off her shirt and bury myself between her legs.

But I can’t.

The horror of what she’d been through came back to me. I pull away and she looks at me with curiosity.

I cup her face and curse myself for what I'm about to say.

“This isn’t a good idea Scully.”

Her face crumples and I immediately wanted to take the words back. She’d been through so much and I knew I was, unwittingly or not, taking advantage of her fragile state, if Scully could ever be considered fragile.

She pulls away from me like she’s been burned and curls into a ball.

A coldness comes across her face that I’ve never seen before.

“You’re probably right. Thank you for dinner but I’d like you to go.” She won’t look at me.

“Scully I-“

The detached, stony, look she gives me stops the words on my tongue and I simply nod.

“I’m sorry.” I say weakly as I open the door. She doesn’t look my way or acknowledge my feeble apology.

***  
The pain is as real as the perplexing stretch marks on my belly. I disgusted him. I could tell by his face that he’d felt the changes in my body. They’d turned him off.  
Attempting to turn my hurt feelings into anger I inwardly curse him for being so shallow but can’t truly muster up the ire I need to move on from the incident.  
So I go to bed and pathetically move my fingers between my legs, unbidden images of him in my mind until I come.

Afterward, I cry, holding my pillow to my chest like a life preserver until I fall asleep.

I vow to never show that kind of weakness again.


	2. Part 2

Mulder’s hand is warm and it envelops my own. I stroke the top of his hand with my thumb. I want him to hold me but I resist. My own feelings have become too strong toward him. Memories of rejection keep me at bay as we walk still holding hands. When he leads me into a more private area he invades my space, not unusual for him but his face is intent upon mine. His expression strikes fear and butterflies in my stomach at the same time.

It’s the same one he wore before he nearly kissed me outside his apartment.

And oh I want him to kiss me so bad but when he moves in to do so I turn my head so his lips meet my cheek.

My face is hot and I retreat quickly giving him a peck on the cheek and leaving swiftly with no further explanation.

I know he takes a few steps toward me as I retreat but his own confusion holds him to the spot and I am grateful for it because I’m not sure I can handle discussing what just happened.

We’d moved past our last near kiss and we will move past this one, just like we moved past our brief make-out session years ago.

The same deep pain I’d felt that night makes its way back into my chest and I struggle to breathe for a moment. When I am back in my car I do what I’ve been doing for years when that memory comes up.

I use it. I take all the hurt and anger and use it as a reminder of what happens when I give into my feelings for Mulder.

It’s not that I doubt that he cares for me.

I know he does.

But his shows of romantic affection always comes out during times of extreme emotion and I don’t doubt that he would run away just like he’d done years before and I’m not sure my heart can handle such rejection again.

So I’ve decided to be the rejecter.

When I get home I examine the broken capillaries in my face as the bath fills with water that is nearly too hot. Sighing I resign myself to the fact that my face will look like this for the next couple weeks.

Maybe it will be useful in keeping Mulder at bay until whatever has taken over him has passed.

When I hear his knock at the door I sigh, pull on my robe, and turn off the faucet before heading to the door, unsurprised.

I plaster on a carefully neutral expression before opening it up.

Mulder’s face is unreadable but my practiced eye sees the frustration and confusion in his hazel eyes.

I want to kiss his brow and comfort him. It has been a hard last few weeks. But I keep myself at a safe distance.

He closes the door and turns to look at me.

“What was that about at the park?” Mulder’s voice is strained. I notice a faint odor of alcohol on him but he doesn’t appear drunk.

“Which part?” I ask in feigned confusion.

“Come on Scully, Jesus Christ, can you open up just this one time?” He takes a dangerous step forward and I move back. Mulder looks like he’s been slapped.

“Why are you acting this way?” He looks away and then at his feet, “ I thought- I was beginning to feel like we were moving in… a new direction.”

I don’t trust myself and so I don’t respond.

He waits a beat and then continues, “I just want to know why.”

Suddenly I’m angry. Years of hurt bubble up and fall out of my mouth before I can hold back the tide.

“Why what Mulder? Why I don’t want to go through that again? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me last time? God, I can’t do it, Mulder. I can’t take that kind of rejection again.”

I take a breath and don’t look at him before continuing, “It’s fucked up that you would rebuff me one moment and then try to kiss me the next and I can’t take it.”

I take a peek at his face and he’s baffled.

Resigned I go to the door, “I would like for you to leave.”

“Scully I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

With that the anger flares back up, “How dare you.”

He searches my face and I see the moment he realizes what I’m talking about. The fact that it meant so little to him is just another stab in my already wounded heart and I fight back the tears that come.

“After your abduction…”

I nod, close my eyes, and open the door, “This is humiliating enough Mulder, please leave.”

Naturally, he doesn’t.

“Why do you think I left that night?”

I’m aghast and silent.

It dawns on him, “You thought I was rejecting you.” He moves toward me and yet again I dodge him, “Jesus, Scully I wanted you so bad that night. I still think about it at least every other day. Leaving was so difficult, almost impossible but-“

I cut him off with a raise of my hand, “Please don’t patronize me, Mulder.”

The tears fill my eyes but I just don’t care anymore.

“I’m not.” When he moves toward me this time I’m too weak to move away. His hands-on my shoulders burn through my robe.

He cups my cheek and looks at me deeply as if he could communicate every unspoken word from the last few years through one look.

“I love you, Scully. God, I’ve been in love with you for so long. It’s why I had to leave that night. You’d just been through serious trauma and the thought of you regretting sleeping with me was too much to bear. I felt like I was taking advantage of you, I had to walk away.”

A tear slips down my face and over his thumb and he wipes the next tear out of the way.

“I’m so sorry you thought I didn’t want you because God Scully I want you so bad, constantly, I need you. I should have told you that, you deserve better.”

Cautiously, he pulls me against him and cradles my head to his chest.

The information is difficult to process and so I silently wrap my arms around his middle and listen to the steady beat of his heart as I ponder his words.

My heart lightens as I realize how vulnerable he’s just made himself and my arms tighten around him.

“I love you too.” I whisper into his chest but I can tell he hears me because he kisses the top of my head.

I gather the courage to look up at him painfully aware of the burst blood vessels, chapped lips, tears, and probably snot on my face but he just stares at me as if I were the most precious thing in the world.

I unattractively use my sleeve to rub under my nose and his eyes fill with mirth before I kiss the playful smile off his lips.

Mulder responds as if he truly has been waiting years to kiss me again. He runs his tongue over my chapped lips as I stroke my fingers through his hair, mindful of his head wound.

The scorching want I’ve tried to hide away for years returns like a geyser and I press my body against. I’m so desperate that with anyone else I’d be embarrassed, but with Mulder I can tell he’s just as desperate. I feel him hard against my stomach and my hand trails down his body before I run a solitary finger down his erection. Unbidden he thrusts into my hand and I smile into his mouth.

But my feet are getting tired from standing on tiptoes and he can tell so he sweeps me up like some kind of romantic hero. His lips move to my chin and neck and he asks in a husky voice, “Couch or bedroom?”

I can tell he’s on edge waiting for an answer. I pull out of his arms and his devastation is evident until I grin and take his hand, leading him toward the bedroom. He follows far too close but I don’t mind. It takes us too long to get to the bed because of Mulder’s hands, which wouldn’t let go of my hips and his lips that wouldn’t let go of my neck.

“Mulder….” I complain without any real annoyance. When we draw close to the bed I spin him around and push him down. His shocked grinning face looks up at me and he takes my hips as I kneel over him.

Slowly I undo my robe and slip it off my shoulders. He has laser intensity as he looks at me. When his eyes roam over my body I feel a tickle of anticipation between my legs. I want to take him right there but I let him look and then feel, he’s so tactile. His thumbs run gently over my nipples for a minute before traveling down my waist and my hips before finally grabbing my thighs. With incremental, and far too slow, movements he draws both hands to my inner thigh and finally between my legs where he carefully pulls my lips apart and strokes me. My legs shake with the effort of staying up but I don’t struggle for long. With an almost desperate air, Mulder begins to try to pull me forward. When I realize his intentions I gladly comply and move over his face where he immediately gets to work.

It’s the single most erotic moment of my life while also being the most romantic. For a moment I’m caught up in the emotion of it all, this is Mulder, and then his thumbnail grazes my clit and I am drawn back into the pleasurable haze.

Mulder sucks and licks away as if I’m some kind of exotic fruit driving me nearly to the brink. After an unknown amount of time, the thought that I’d like to come with him crosses my mind but I feel the orgasm begin to build and can’t hold back. I lose control and deprived of anything else to use to steady myself I grab onto Mulder’s head for dear life.

After a few spasms, I come down a fuzzy halo of pleasure still clouding my vision. It takes me a minute to come back to reality as I fall sideways. When Mulder catches me I see the wet smile on his face and cup his cheek.

“Sorry about almost suffocating you.”

He licks his grinning lips, “Trust me I didn’t mind.”

That’s when I notice he is still clothed.

I get to work right away on his belt and run myself against his erection and he hisses. When I pull away to take them off I’m pleased to see the wet spot I’d left on his pants.

Marking him as mine.

When he’s pulled his penis out he moves as if ready to go right then but I need to see the rest of him.

Unsure how to express this between kisses I just mutter, “Off. Skin to skin.” While pulling at his clothes.

It feels like hours until he’s finally as naked as me and it was worth the trouble. He lets me look him over as he did me.

I’ve seen him before but this is so new. Aroused Mulder post cunnilingus pre-sex is a glorious sight. Painting of a god in repose.

Well, not full repose because after a few moments I can tell he is getting impatient.

“How do you wanna do it, Scully? I’m up for anything.” Even in his desperate state Mulder wiggles his eyebrows and I can’t help but giggle.

I don’t giggle much these days, I missed it.

Lying on my back I pull him over me, locking my ankles above his ass.

I snake my hands between us and position us but he pauses and just looks at me with the most tender of expressions.

I give him a quick Eskimo kiss and push down my with legs until he moves inside me. His exhale is hot against my neck as he loses all ability to hold up his head. Mulder is still for a few moments too long so I pull his face up to look at me.

Mulder’s eyes, always as elusive as he is, stare back at me hazel and watery. When I run my thumb over his lips he smiles and begins to move.

And it’s earth-shattering. Of course, it is.

I’m still sensitive and the sensations are almost too much. Mulder tries to keep his eyes open but fails and I enjoy the way his lashes splay across his cheeks as his mouth drops open.

He’s beautiful and I take it in while stroking his face and murmuring to him.

The memory of our first kisses are far from my mind when I watch him come.

When we part Mulder pulls me to him and lays his head in the crook of my neck. He falls asleep uncharacteristically fast but I watch him for a few minutes before finally closing my eyes.

For the first time in so long, I feel completely at ease.


End file.
